Random bad joke

A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl yelled, "Whip me. Whip me!"

The guy, eager to please, obviously didn't have a whip, but, in a flash of inspiration, opened his window, snapped the radio antenna off his van, and they shared it until they both collapsed in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

A week later, the girl noticed that the marks left by their lovemaking session were starting to fester, so she asked her doctor to check them out.

The doctor took one look and asked, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Embarrassed, she admitted that she did.

The doctor nodded. "I thought so. In all my years of doctoring ... this is the worst case of Van Aerial Disease I've ever seen!"

Just to let you know I am still here

Been mostly buried under new house and old house stuff to find the time/energy for posting. It seems all I can do to keep up with everybody else's lives....
I keep trying to find a way to post a PDF into my blog, but have not found it, any suggestions??

List of random things I want for my birthday

Before you read any further, I am not asking for any presents for my birthday. I DO NOT expect anyone to buy me ANYTHING! I am packing boxes and boxes of shit to put into storage right now so that the house does not look so cluttered. Please take pity on me.

As requested by Pusher:

MacBook Pro (with all the trimmings)
Sony VPL-VW100 1080p HDTV-ready SXRD front projector
Milwaukee V28 Lithium-Ion 4-Piece Combo Kit
Linkin Park: Meteora
Terry Pratchett: Strata Where's My Cow? Once More with Footnotes The Wee Free Men
About 250 sq ft of this