The Nothing to do with Xmas Post

I was over at Crave and I saw an article about a deal between Apple and Fox to allow iTunes movie rentals. So I told the Sexy Blonde that I expect Macworld to be all about the AppleTV and iTunes rentals. I hope that this means that Apple is going to update the AppleTV to not only let you browse and watch rentals, but also add a built in HD-PVR (Personal Video Recorder).

Those that have been over here know that I run a Mac Mini with an external PVR box hooked up to the 42" LCD. Most of you do not know that it definitely leaves some things to be desired. It allows you to pause live TV, but this effects the transfer time between the encoder-Mac-display, so that when you are running through the Digital Comcast On-Screen Guide, it takes a couple of seconds to catch up. It also records at sub-broadcast resolution. So even though the Mini pumps out 720p to the TV, the picture looks like the 11 year old RCA in the basement, and nothing akin to what we should be seeing from Digital Cable. The format it records in, is not a normal one, so you either have to use a special player program or run a conversion to burn or send it.

I have seen some newer versions now that handle HD programming, have built in conversions to the iPod or iDVD standard, even have a 'lossless' setting designed for game consoles that don't have the delay. So it is not too much to ask Apple to get some of these technologies and bundle them into their little unit.

Heck, if they were smart, they would make another version built into the Mac Mini case that included a combo Blu-Ray/HD-DVD reader/DVD burner. I bet for $599-$799, those would FLY off the shelves (I know one would fly into this house). If any of you out there know Steve or Jon, please pass this along....

My most favorite dirty joke ever

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his *******. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was *******, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y.

Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his *******.

"Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?"

"No way, mon, I work for the Tourist Board. Mine reads, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day'."

7 Random things

1. I hate all of those chain letter type things, if you send one to me, I will automatically throw it in the trash

2. I miss the Electric Company and the Bloodhound Gang!

3. I am thinking that our next digital camera might not be made by Sony

4. I haven't watched the Daily Show or the Colbert Report for months

5. For all that I love shopping, I am a picky purchaser

6. I miss pastrami

7. I have been dying my hair gray for years, I am just not very good at it

Since the feeling I expressed in #1, I will not ask anyone else to do this. I am a party pooper.

As requested

Here is the full pic of "The Twelve" from Heroes, as requested by Pusher.

Is all this tech crap worth it?

So, for those of you that know me, I am a gizmo/gadget junkie. I had the first cell phone amongst my group of friends. Since then I have had 5 different cell carriers and 8 different phones, but at least I have been pre-paid since that first one. I don't like the contract based services, they are way too proprietary. If I had been in Europe through these years, I probably would not have had as many phones. They have this wacky thing called interoperability. Meaning, I buy a SIM card and that is me-no matter what phone I stick it in. You can do that here (in theory) with AT&T and T-Mobile, but not nearly as easy. I decided against the iPhone, cuz I WON'T sign into a contract, though the pre-paid hack still tempts me. I am thinking that I will probably unlock my, currently useless, AMP'D mobile phone to use it on the AllTel network that just opened up here after their purchasing of Midwest Wireless (formerly Cellular 2000, my first cell provider).

I had to have the first combo computer/TV, the 36" Destination XTV from Gateway. As soon as it became affordable to have a Mac PVR, got that (to replace the Sony PC with TV tuner that didn't record). When that 36" monitor died, I had to have a projector. When the projector bulb blew, I had to get a big LCD TV (though not as big as Syl's monster Plasma). Within a couple of years, I will have a dedicated home theater, with true surround sound and a HD projector.

I have several obsolete computers with all of their peripherals, we missed the local clean up days, when it would have been cheap to recycle them. Combined, we have 3 iPods in the house (one of which is an old dead one, I really just need to take into the apple store and turn in), and I have designs on another.

And now that I have gotten used to the satnav system in the Prius, maybe have to think about a portable one for the 'Stang...ACK!

The only reason to move to Chicago...

Because they have guides for this. (FYI - probably not safe for work)

Link here

Planting The Tomatoes

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad.

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Vinnie.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Vinnie.

ANSWERS: Male or Female

1. Freezer Bags.

Freezer Bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2. Photocopiers.

Photocopiers are female, because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

3. Tires.

Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

4. Hot Air Balloons.

Hot Air Balloons are also a male object because to get them to go anywhere you have to light a fire under their butt.

5. Sponges.

Sponges are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

6. Web Pages.

Web Pages are female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently being hit on.

7. Trains.

Trains are definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

8. Egg Timers.

Egg Timers are female, because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

9. Hammers.

Hammers are male, because, in the last 5,000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

10. Remote Controls.

The Remote Control is female. Ha! You probably thought they would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keep trying.

FYI - stolen word for word from another website, who stole it from somewhere else, I'm sure.

Quiz: Male Or Female?

CLARIFICATION: I am not talking about the gender of the word that some languages use, try thinking as if it is a joke...

You may not have known this, but a lot of inanimate objects actually have a gender. That's right, they are either male or female. Following is a list of examples, see if you can guess which are male and which female.

1. Freezer Bags.

2. Photocopiers.

3. Tires.

4. Hot Air Balloons.

5. Sponges.

6. Web Pages.

7. Trains.

8. Egg Timers.

9. Hammers.

10. Remote Controls.

FYI - stolen from another website, who stole it from somewhere else, I'm sure.

I'll post the answers in a couple of days.

News of a loss

Well, here it is. Official word that Robert Jordan's thread was cut from the pattern.

Here it is

So here is a stock photo of my car, I have been remiss in my duties and not taken a real photo to post yet. I will take one shortly and post it.

I had to stop to do this

Yup, as some of you may already know, I have it. It is in my possesion right now. It is big, red, powerful and goes like gangbusters.

I also got my new Mustang, pictures will be up soon.

But why do I have to wait???

OK, so I decided on a Mustang. Red. No fancy-shmancy options. At the dealership on Monday, set it all up. They didn't have one on the lot, but could get one by Wednesday. I was so stoked! Then they called and said that the dealer that had that one called to tell them that it had $300 of hail damage, that had been fixed, but gave me the opt out. I opted out and they found a new one that would be in on Friday, I told them I would pick it up on Saturday (after I hauled some more mulch in the truck). Got the mulch and called to let them know I was on my way, and they filled me in that when they got it, the dealer had put aftermarket stripes on it but didn't list it on the car info. I don't like the stripes, they are too Camero for me. So they are getting another one that should be there on Monday. At least I am getting my money's worth on the tank of gas I put in the truck....

Test Drive Mania

So I have been on the hunt to pick out my next new vehicle. As some of you know, my truck lease ends in October, and my dealership called me in to offer to buy me out early.
My original plan was to get something new, small and fuel efficient. Then I realized that I have really gotten used to having a truck and it's usefulness. At that point, the plan switched to getting a compact pick-up with four doors. I test drove the Tacoma and really liked it. It sat like a car, had pretty good room in the back seat, and still had 3/4 of a bed in it. Unfortunately it was outside of the price limits that I had set myself. So I had to open up to new options.
I figured that I have a small trailer, so I should get a cheap car that I could put a hitch on for the few times I need to haul stuff. I looked at the Yaris hatchback, but I couldn't get my legs in under the steering wheel. Then I looked at the Scion XD and XB. The XD looked cool, and had decent power, but was too cramped. The XB was solid, had good power and good cargo capacity. It also didn't feel cheap, that is until I drove the Honda Civic Coupe. It was an order of magnitude more solid, fun to drive, but lacked in capacity and the very fuel efficient motor had no get up and go. I had originally stopped at the Honda dealer to drive a Fit, but he said there was a 6 month waiting list and he didn't even have one to test drive. After waiting nine months for the Prius, I wasn't doing that again, especially since come Oct 1 I had to give up the truck.
Friday, I went online at work to look at some of the discounts we get at the various companies. The Chrysler/Dodge deals were really good, and almost made me want to get one. The Ford/Mazda deals were also pretty good, so I thought that I should go test drive a Mazda 3. It was pretty good. It had a good bit of zoom-zoom, and cabinocity, overall it came in tied with the XB for my new car.
Then I did the unthinkable, but before I tell you that, I to tell you another story. When I was shopping for my first car, the small used car lot up the highway from my house had a 1965 midnight blue Ford Mustang. It was the car I had dreamed about. Stylish, muscular, rad. I sooo wanted it, bad. My brother looked at it and said that there were way too many things that need repair/restoration and thus it was out. We searched some more and found an 81 yellow 4 cylinder Mustang hatchback. Even though it was not the uber-Stang, the lost one was, it was a Mustang. I had to have it. I drove that all through high school, picked up the Sexy Blonde every morning, and probably crammed like 75000 miles on it over 3 years. I would blow people away at stoplights, I could put the backseat down and through tons of stuff in the back. I put a CB radio in it (that was pre-cellphone explosion era) and only ever had one accident, where I hit a deer.
The month before I was to ship out to college, the clutch and transmission blew. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. It really wasn't worth the money to fix it (after said deer crash, tons of miles, and the beating it got from me) so I parked it and found a new beater. A brown Chevy Cavalier sedan. It was cheap and was supposed to get good mileage. It was the Mach V, Piece of Shit. It got like 13 MPG, had no get up and go and was no successor to the yellow Stang (Afore mentioned girlfriend subsequently inherited it as her first car).
I am set to test drive the last car under consideration tomorrow after work, we'll see how it goes.

Geek TV

OK, so some of you have already heard me go on about a new streaming video site and how addicted I am to it. See there used to be this show on G4 that I was completely in love with, until they replaced the hosts. Two of the guys were really funny, Alex Albrecht and Kevin Rose. They have been gone for some time now, and the guys they replaced them with just didn't cut it, so I stopped watching.
Well, I was watching CNET Live one day, and those guys just happened to be the special guests. They got together with one of the original internet architects and started a website called Revision3 , where they and some other folks record and create their own 'TV' shows. It is SO COOL! The one that I am stuck on at the moment is called 'The Totally Rad Show'. I can't get enough. I even subscribed via iTunes and they automatically download, if I had a video iPod I might even watch them on the bus.

Data Mining

A woman from the records department stopped by the maternity ward for information for a new baby's birth certificate.

"Father's date of birth?"

"February 1st," replied the new mother.

"Hmm," said the clerk. "Did you realize your baby's birthday is exactly nine months after your husband's birthday?"

"No, I guess not," responded the mother, "but now that you mention it, our daughter's birthday is today, too." The clerk smiled and said, "Maybe you should start giving your husband a tie for his next birthday!"

More Groaners

1. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. He was immediately arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

2. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

Groaners

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.

Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, it makes no difference who you are."

2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.

However, all the Swiss league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire so, alas, we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

Mingle2 is just too weird!

$4055.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Just because I can....

So yes, AKJ called it right, I am a CHEATING F#@%TARD!

When I originally plugged my blog into the ratings website, I earned a PG. In my utter shock and dismay at how that coud have happened, I happened to notice the HTML code that you are supposed to plug into your site and altered it a little. BLAMO I had an R and try as I might, I couldn't change it so that an X would appear. So I just left it as R.

Later, I plugged in a couple more websites I knew of to try and see what it went up to. I plugged in a porn site and it came back as R, so I was convinced that was the toughest rating. Then I plugged a long lost friend's Taxi Blog (see the side panel for link), and it came up with NC-17! I was so jealous, but I saw how to make it show that rating, and changed the HTML again.

I really want to start turning the heat up on the old blogo, but don't want to drive away any work readers (ha ha, like there are any). So, I will still swear a bit in the comments section in replies to replies, but not in the actual posts. Unless all of my regular readers cry out for me to write like I talk....every other word blue.

I guess I need more swearing, FRAK!

Test Your Knowledge: Answers

OK, ready for the answers? Here ya go:

1. The only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense and the offensive team can score without touching the ball is ... Baseball.

2. Three English words beginning with dw..... Dwarf, Dwell, and Dwindle. (Extra point for Dweeb!)

3. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "S"....Shoes, Socks, Sandals, Sneakers, Slippers, Skis, Skates, Snowshoes, Stockings, Stilts.

4. The North American landmark constantly moving backward is ... Niagara Falls. (The rim is worn down about two-and-a-half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

Test Your Knowledge

1. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?

2. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.

3. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S."

4. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

Leave your guesses in the comments and I will post the answers in a day or two.

At last, a politician who is finally making sense

-- and it's a Canadian politician at that.

Meet Mike Lake, a member of Canada's House of Commons representing his constitutents in Edmonton, Alberta.

And the most burning issue in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, at this particular moment in Canadian history is: BIG FOOT! Or Sasquatch, if you're going by the critter's Canadian name. No, really, Lake even has proof in the form of a petition signed by no less than almost 500 of his Edmontonian constituents imploring the Canadian House of Commons to protect Sasquatch, a.k.a. Bigfoot, as an endangered species. Specifically, "to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to effect immediate protection of Bigfoot."

Always alert for a worthwhile cause, Lake wants the legendary hairy man-like beast, Sasquatch, protected under Canada's Species at Risk Act, according to news reports.

Bigfoot researcher Todd Standing, who organized the petition, claims to have proof of the sasquatch's existence and says he fears for its safety.

Even though there are some -- some would even say a majority of -- people who consider Bigfoot/Sasquatch to fall somewhere between folklore and outright hoaxes, I think Lake, and the gullible ... er ... good people of Edmonton, are on to something worth supporting.

Even if you think Sasquatch is only folklore masquerading as a legend dressed as a rumor it would still be a good idea to add the hairy critter to Canada's Species at Risk Act if for no other reason than we have been wrong before so it could happen again.

And while we're opening the door to alleged species protection, I firmly believe that dragons and unicorns should be added to the list providing them protection because they are way cool and they should exist, but if they did exist they would sure as hell need protection. Same thing for mermaids, a species definitely worthy of protecting. And phoenixes, too! And my cat should have federal protection, too!

Look at it this way, if we keep the politicians busy protecting our pets and imaginary creatures, maybe they won't have time to waste so much of the public's money killing other people. So, you go, Mr. Lake, and good on ya, eh!

Which horse to back?

So, I have had some time to think about things other than the house. The thing that just keeps popping up is which hi-def DVD format to choose. I am not sure why I feel I need to make this decision right now, since it will be some time before I get the luxury of making that choice, if I ever do. I think that I should try out a couple of choice DVD's on the LCD before I start thinking about it....really!
But, I feel I need to examine the options and weigh in. My initial reaction is to go BluRay, cuz I am a Sony hoar. Like Beta, it seems like it has the best picture, most capacity and is the most expensive. Whereas HDDVD is cheaper, faster to market, and close enough in picture quality to make it the front runner. I guess the only thing to do is figure out which one will porn choose.

Poor Mr. Dillon....

Mr. Dillon hates to go shopping with his wife, but Mrs. Dillon insists he accompany her regularly to her favorite department store where, without fail, he gets very bored because he prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Dillon loves to browse.

One day, Mrs. Dillon received the following letter from the department store's management:

Dear Mrs. Dillon,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from all of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Dillon are listed below.

Things Mr. Dillon has done while his spouse was shopping at our store:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in the House Wares department to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in house wares ... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Thank you.

Okay, so I've been bad....

I haven't posted in over a month. I could give up some vague excuse about being busy with house stuff, and working overtime, and blah, blah, blah. I think that those of you that know me, were just waiting for me to peter out.
See I have always had the "ending" sickness. I am never very good at working anything to completeness. Which is probably why I still have an incomplete from college. Also, why in our old house, I never completed the basement remodel (even at the very end, I never hung the light).
I am not allowed to do this sort of thing in the new place. If I start one of the projects in the plan for that house, I have to work it through to the end.

Never thought I would see the day....

I am not quite sure how I ended up here, but it not how you think. It had nothing to do with Booble. I think it was some weird, link following excursion post Honest Erin's, the world may never know (and probably doesn't really care).

Survey says:

SOLD!! Signed all of the paperwork this morning, so if you show up at my old house, someone else might be there.
A huge thank you to those that braved the frigid cold to help us move the last couple of things on Saturday, and to those of you that did not know when to show up, but would have!
We are now located in the Huis/Kluges rental, but the phone number has not changed. You have to love all that new fangled technology.