I am illiterary

So, as some of you may know, by reading some of the blogs in my side bar, November is 'National Write Something, Anything' month. In protest, I shall refrain from writing anything other than half words, guttural sounds, and rank profanity for the month.

I know, some of you out there are cheering, and some are saying 'And this will be different from the normal, how?'. Well, for that, I have no argument, because for the most part you are right. What most people don't know, is that I have a ghost writer that translates my incomprehensible gibberish to prose for your semi enjoyment.

The scariest part of all is that I almost had myself convinced to write my own novel this month (collective shiver)

Mr. Javen is not available right now...

Please leave your message in the comments, and I will be glad to respond to them at my earliest convienence.
Otherwise, please return to Q for your comic enjoyment.

Too much GeekTV

So, now that I can't just leave up the projector and screen all the time, there are way too many kewl-ass shows on. Eureka, Heroes, My Name is Earl, The Office, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica....Krakatoa! I may have to find some alternate means to get my fix on.

Your friendly neighboorhood...

As I was surfing random blogs today, I found a link to this. These guys are way better than the ones that got a half hour Discovery channel show....

Then I found this one, and almost soiled myself.....laughing!

Random bad joke

A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl yelled, "Whip me. Whip me!"

The guy, eager to please, obviously didn't have a whip, but, in a flash of inspiration, opened his window, snapped the radio antenna off his van, and they shared it until they both collapsed in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

A week later, the girl noticed that the marks left by their lovemaking session were starting to fester, so she asked her doctor to check them out.

The doctor took one look and asked, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Embarrassed, she admitted that she did.

The doctor nodded. "I thought so. In all my years of doctoring ... this is the worst case of Van Aerial Disease I've ever seen!"

Just to let you know I am still here

Been mostly buried under new house and old house stuff to find the time/energy for posting. It seems all I can do to keep up with everybody else's lives....
I keep trying to find a way to post a PDF into my blog, but have not found it, any suggestions??

List of random things I want for my birthday

Before you read any further, I am not asking for any presents for my birthday. I DO NOT expect anyone to buy me ANYTHING! I am packing boxes and boxes of shit to put into storage right now so that the house does not look so cluttered. Please take pity on me.

As requested by Pusher:

MacBook Pro (with all the trimmings)
Sony VPL-VW100 1080p HDTV-ready SXRD front projector
Milwaukee V28 Lithium-Ion 4-Piece Combo Kit
Linkin Park: Meteora
Terry Pratchett: Strata Where's My Cow? Once More with Footnotes The Wee Free Men
About 250 sq ft of this

Just to set the record straight

Several friends have mentioned to me in the past several weeks (Syl, most recently) that they have left me a message on my mobile of great importance. It is not that I don't care about you, or care about what you have to say in your message, I do...I REALLY do!

Here is the problem: I have CallVantage VoIP service at home, which we have set up to forward to our mobiles. This has two main effects.

1) If you call our home number, even if we are not at home, we usually answer.
2) If we can't answer, or let unidentified numbers go through unanswered, I get a voicemail on my mobile of the automated greeting letting me know it is a call forwarded from home.

The outcome of #2 means that I generally have upwards of 10-15 voicemails on my mobile that are just trash. So this means that I do not check that voice mailbox very often. Hence, when Syl left me a message on my mobile while I was at work on Thursday, I didn't realize it and didn't get it until Saturday night.

In know way am asking to be let off of the hook, I am a huge schlock, and know it. I just wanted to put this out there so that the important people know this and hopefully understand.

CONGRATS SYL AND CALLEIGH!

How To Save Your Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The next day, the local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey. So she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10!

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE!!

The bishop was buried the next day.

No news on The Deuce front

It's 10:00 pm and I have heard no news from Syl on if The Deuce has come into the world.

Memos From The I.T. Dept.

1. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

2. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

3. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

4. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

5. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

This is way cool!!

Check this out!

This GM post is approved for human consumption.

So what is the big deal about GM food? I just read this article about how Japan is freaking out about some rice. There is also a link to an old article about China, and from there links to protests in the UK.
This brings me back to a story I read about a multiple Nobel prize winner, who discovered a drought resistant strain of wheat. This was back during the worst of the African famines (not that it is really that much better now) he dropped everything to go and teach the people how to grow this new crop.
Shortly after he left, some missionaries came along and convinced the people not to eat the wheat because it was "unnatural". This was shortly followed by even more famine related deaths because the villages had stopped other farming (scarce as it was) because this new crop would feed them.
I can understand if researchers did not test the crops before being put into widespread production, people having an issue. If you handed me a slice of pizza and told me that it just came off of a GM tree, and that you are sure it should be just fine, yet were wearing a bio-hazard jumpsuit, I might...MIGHT...have second thoughts. But c'mon there is a point when the potential hazard drops well below the potential gain.
Besides, we all might need those gills if this whole "global warming" myth holds any truth.

Slow Going

We have taken three truck loads and a car load over to the storage place, and it hardly looks any different in here. I guess that officially means we have too much shit. Good thing we are building a bigger house! Might have to make that bonus room over the garage nothing but a storage space.
I might have to build that rotating storage tram that Sarge and I dreamed up to go into the Huis' crawlspace, and put it in the attic space attached to the bonus room. But instead of wheeled compartments, they should be on air casters. Don't trade that 20hp electric motor yet!!!

Arborvitae

So we are going to pull out the arborvitae that is next to our steps as it is not real happy there. We are going to replace it with a barrell planted spiral evergreen.
So if anyone wants an arborvitae that needs some care let us know, otherwise we are going to cut it out....violently.

Taking the Indoors Out

One car load and truck load down, and still a ton left.  But we got the hugest trash barrel that the trash hauler will pick up (short of a roll off dumpster) and now I can really start chucking stuff and moving more.
I will probably start on the basement this weekend as I have been mostly distracted and tired all week.  Hawk tried to convince me to get a framing nailer as I got a chunk of back pay on this weeks check.  I was planning on getting a new digital camera and I don't think that A will let me get bolth....

Boxes, we don need no stinkin boxes

Had a walk through yesterday with our relator to get her idears on the house.

OH, MY GOD....LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT!!!

That is not exactly what she said, we prefaced with "We will need to do some de-cluttering", so she did say that we needed to de-clutter in almost every room. We rented a storage place in between our house and the new lot, and we shall fill it soon.

Then we just need to finish off what I started on in the basement and stage the house. Oh, wait, I forgot: refinish the bathtub and replace the non-code trap, paint one of the upstairs bedrooms, touch up the ceiling in the kitchen, move the fridge back to where the original had been, replace the faucet in the downstairs bathroom, remove the arborvitae next to the steps, install the trim boards on the steps, and about a million other things....

It's all Widgety Goodness

I had to try out the Blogger Widget I downloaded.  Seems to be pretty kewl, I can work on a post, then go and read some news.  Here is something I just read: 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/5244298.stm   Seems to me like if I was running a huge corp, I wouldn't have my manufacturing plant there.  I would put it somewhere more stable, like North Korea.

Down with Windows Live

Well, since everyone else is jumping from the sinking ship, you can call me a rat too.

I just learned that if I didn't shower, I would grow babies on my arm.

I love the pseudo news....