Poor Mr. Dillon....

Mr. Dillon hates to go shopping with his wife, but Mrs. Dillon insists he accompany her regularly to her favorite department store where, without fail, he gets very bored because he prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Dillon loves to browse.

One day, Mrs. Dillon received the following letter from the department store's management:

Dear Mrs. Dillon,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from all of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Dillon are listed below.

Things Mr. Dillon has done while his spouse was shopping at our store:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in the House Wares department to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in house wares ... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Thank you.

Okay, so I've been bad....

I haven't posted in over a month. I could give up some vague excuse about being busy with house stuff, and working overtime, and blah, blah, blah. I think that those of you that know me, were just waiting for me to peter out.
See I have always had the "ending" sickness. I am never very good at working anything to completeness. Which is probably why I still have an incomplete from college. Also, why in our old house, I never completed the basement remodel (even at the very end, I never hung the light).
I am not allowed to do this sort of thing in the new place. If I start one of the projects in the plan for that house, I have to work it through to the end.

Never thought I would see the day....

I am not quite sure how I ended up here, but it not how you think. It had nothing to do with Booble. I think it was some weird, link following excursion post Honest Erin's, the world may never know (and probably doesn't really care).

Survey says:

SOLD!! Signed all of the paperwork this morning, so if you show up at my old house, someone else might be there.
A huge thank you to those that braved the frigid cold to help us move the last couple of things on Saturday, and to those of you that did not know when to show up, but would have!
We are now located in the Huis/Kluges rental, but the phone number has not changed. You have to love all that new fangled technology.

Okay, this is the worst part

The inspection was over about two hours ago. I have been dreading the inspectors report of how well I kept up the house, the shoddiness of my DIY improvements, and all of the things I had no idea were wrong with the house. This is the worst feeling I have had through the whole process.
I mean, what if they noticed that I didn't finish all of the wiring I was going to do in the basement? What if they didn't like the fact that I didn't put a handrail on the basement steps? What if they don't like how I forgot to put in drawer stops in the kitchen cabinet I had to re-make because the new fridge is bigger than the old one? What if? What if? What if?
I think I might explode......

Here we sit

So, the inspection starts in 35 minutes, so here we sit. Nothing more to do, and too early to leave. While we are out of the house, the vicious cat will visit the vet and then we will drive out to take a look at the new place. Hopefully, the chica from Ms. Huis-Herself's rental co will call too.
Can't wait to move in to the new place, can't wait to move out of this place.

Huff and puff....

And you can no longer just blow my house in! They have filled in the basement foam forms with concrete. So, things are finally set in stone(I think that I am going to get a lot of mileage out of that saying. Pictures to follow soon.

Oh, yeah, I made the switch to Beta, and it was ok. I just have to go and put back all of the cool things I did to my template....

This guy is not invited to my parties....

COUNTRY WESTMEATH, Ireland -- There's nothing worse than having your Christmas party ruined by some guy named Gus who drinks all the beer and eats all the food, Voyeurwebbers, but in this case, Gus is a camel and this did NOT happen in the Middle East or North Africa.

It happened in Ireland where a Christmas Party was ruined after Gus, the camel, ate all the food and drank the beer.

Gus sneaked out of his stable while staff at his equestrian center were getting changed for the big night, according to news media reports.

Gus scarfed down 200 mince pies and 150 sandwiches before downing seven cans of Guinness, which he reportedly cracked open with his teeth.

Staff at the Mullinger Equestrian Center in County Westmeath, Ireland, came back to find the place looking like a "chimpanzee's tea party".

Center owner Robert Fagan said: "We're going to reschedule the Christmas party for next Tuesday but next time Gus is going to be properly locked up."

Why issue tickets?

We need these in the US.

I have one of the Metallica video Rockumentaries and in it there is a scene where Lars is speeding down a section of road (not clearly defined) saying something to the effect of: "that if you didn't want people to drive here they should put something in the way".
Being a public transit rider now, I can totally see the benefit of these every time the bus has to try and move out into traffic to go around some jerk parked/stopped in the bus lane.

I get to post them first!

Here are some photos of the footings and excavations:

This is me standing next to the garage.

That is where the media room and billiards table will be in the 4th level and where the Kitchen and Living room will be in the main level.

ICF forms that the walls will be made from.

Another pic of the media room and kitchen location.

This week should see the ICF outer walls up and filled with concrete. Can't wait.

I like choices

So the builder stopped by with a bunch of samples to choose, shingles, siding, soffits, and flooring. Woo Hoo! Now we have to make some choices, that go towards the permanent look of our house.
Talk about pressure.
I look over at the buttercreme siding with white trim on the townhouses across the street, and think that doesn't look bad. I look at our silvery blue siding, with the sandstone on the front of our house, and think I might be able to do that again. But I look at the sage sample with white trim and a berry color soffit, and I go that will look great or not.
What to do? How to choose?

OOOO, SHINEY!

As some of you know, my laptop had kind of a bad experience. One of the hinges froze, then broke away from the LCD when I was trying to close it (not even hard!!). It still functions, but it is just a matter of time until the connection is broken. So, I used my bonus (and a little extra) to buy a new one.
This was actually quite a hard decision for me to make, I almost didn't buy a new one. Those of you that know me, just about peed your pants/spit out something, but it's true. Apple had a great Black Friday deal that I could combine with my discount from work, so it was too hard to pass up.
Just to make sure you all think that I have completely lost it, I didn't get the black one.

Well, maybe I'll have better luck next year

My friend Kashka Z just posted that she finished her NaNo. Which is a huge accomplishment! I think my word count is up to 375 words, which is just a few short. But if I keep this pace, I should finish it 11/30/39 (as in 2139!). Unfortunately, that is probably when they will unthaw Robert Jordan to cure him, so he can finish the wheel of time series....

Who wants to host this party?

With our house on the market, can't really commit to hosting this, but surely someone will!

Is Pornography Addictive?

No, it is just good clean fun, despite what WebMD has posted about it.

IF anyone has any doubts, I will bring some right over and we will do some objective testing.

My new job!

Want to look and feel younger as you go through life? Of course you do, who wouldn't? Well, according to research done by professional doctors and scientists it is possible to look and feel 10 years younger as you go through life.

All you have to do is have more sex. I knows that sounds like a come on, but I did make this up. It is one of the findings reported at the International Conference on Healthy Ageing and Longevity, which takes place annually in Australia. The conference is co-sponsored by Australia and the United Nations World Health Organization, which were legitimate enough credentials to put my normally skeptical look as such research to rest.

One of the conference's speakers, Australian sex therapist Jo-Anne Baker, told the assembled scientists, doctors and professors: “A recent study revealed that those who had sex an average of four times a week looked and felt 10 years younger than those who had less sex, due to the production of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals.”

She admitted that many couples with young children, heavy work schedules and bills to pay often find it hard to feel in the mood for sex once a week, let alone four times. She recommended that people explore sexual appetite stimulants to help create the sexual urge. Among the stimulants, she suggested people try flirting, fantasizing and erotic play.

“People wanting longevity and good health can’t afford to let this area of life slip, even if they merely engage in self-love,” Baker told those attending the conference.

Dr. Bradley Wilcox, another conference speaker, agreed and said sex is nature's way of boosting etrogen and testosterone levels in women and men as they get older.

“It stands to reason that when you are sexually active the body recognizes the need for certain hormones to be produced,” said Dr. Wilcox, internationally recognized for his research on people who have lived for 100 years or more and stayed healthy. He said these centenarians credited intimacy, as well as good diet, for their longevity.

Ms. Baker said that touching the skin during sex releases opiates; and sex prompts the release of natural amphetamines which keep humans stimulated and full of energy.

Professor Suresh Rattan said that physical sexual activity produces "good stress" on the body because it helps jump start, if you will, the immune system.

What ever happened to...

The synthesizer?
Headbands?
Useless buckles and zippers?

Maybe VH1 Classic Rock is not the best station for me to watch....

I am illiterary

So, as some of you may know, by reading some of the blogs in my side bar, November is 'National Write Something, Anything' month. In protest, I shall refrain from writing anything other than half words, guttural sounds, and rank profanity for the month.

I know, some of you out there are cheering, and some are saying 'And this will be different from the normal, how?'. Well, for that, I have no argument, because for the most part you are right. What most people don't know, is that I have a ghost writer that translates my incomprehensible gibberish to prose for your semi enjoyment.

The scariest part of all is that I almost had myself convinced to write my own novel this month (collective shiver)

Mr. Javen is not available right now...

Please leave your message in the comments, and I will be glad to respond to them at my earliest convienence.
Otherwise, please return to Q for your comic enjoyment.

Too much GeekTV

So, now that I can't just leave up the projector and screen all the time, there are way too many kewl-ass shows on. Eureka, Heroes, My Name is Earl, The Office, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica....Krakatoa! I may have to find some alternate means to get my fix on.